Buddhist answers to common questions
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20 March, 2009 – Lam Shenphen Zangpo answers basic questions that every Bhutanese man, woman, and child on the street wants to know. I often suffer with mood swings. Some days I am quite happy, but the next I feel quite irritated or depressed. How can Buddhism help me stabilize my life?
Well, nothing arising from no-where, and so there must be a reason for your emotional swings. Perhaps they are sparked by a colleague’s insensitive words or maybe you expect too much from life.
Whatever the trigger, the root cause is the same: relying on external references for happiness. This is an underlying reason for our vulnerability.
As we know, all form, emotions and perceptions are composed of an infinite number of parts, and even a minor change in any of these has far reaching effects. A stock market crash in London causes bankruptcies in Taipei. A politician killed in Lahore causes heightened security in New York. Due to its intricate and dependent nature, our environment is extremely fragile and unstable.
Therefore, it is natural to feel insecure when our mental well-being is contingent on external reference points. It is like leaning on a rickety desk. When it moves, we move. The trick, therefore, is remove ourselves from these externals and instead develop a genuine and flexible mind.
The great Indian Buddhist scholar Atisha Dipankara identified eight hopes and fears that bind us to external reference points: praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, and fame and disgrace. These are hooks and we are like fish deceived by their appearance. We believe they are a source of happiness, whereas in reality they are a short cut to suffering.
In the same way that a fish needs to identify these hooks to remain safe, we likewise need to detach from these eight dharmas for our mental well-being. They are the cause of our insecurity and mood swings.
Take an everyday situation as an example. Our boss praises our efforts. We are happy. Although we feel good, this should actually be a warning sign. It is like the bell on the fisherman’s rod warning us that we have been caught and are in trouble.
Why should being happy as the result of praise be dangerous? It is because the result is dependent on an unstable source. No sooner has our boss finished praising us than we are being berated by a jealous colleague. Crash. We fall from our lofty position.
Praise is like a happiness drug. It is addictive. And, like any drug or emotion, it causes us to relinquish control of our lives. That is suffering.
Furthermore, in order to get a continuous supply of this praise-drug, we start to channel our energies into gaining others’ approval. Our genuine mind and dignity are lost. We become fake and weak. We can even hurt others because we give them what they want, not what they need. Like a grandmother who stuffs her grandchildren with sweets and unhealthy snacks to gain love, we please others to garner their support and approval.
That is not to say that we should be indifferent towards others. Definitely, we should not. Compassion and caring are the root of Buddhist practice and are essential for the social cohesion of the planet. However, our action and words should be genuine and aimed at benefiting others, not motivated by personal gain.
How do we use this knowledge to gain stability? Well, Buddhism teaches three steps to transform the mind. The first is view, the second is meditation and the last is action. Knowing that the eight worldly dharmas are the cause of suffering is the view.
Buddhism encourages debate, and the teachings should not be taken on blind faith. Instead, like gold, they need to be examined and tested. In this respect, we meditate and contemplate on the view. We ask ourselves does it make sense. Does it benefit others? Finally, when we agree that it does, we enter the final stage – action.
Whenever we feel happy, we should ask ourselves, “Is this happiness due to others’ praise or the result of personal gain?” If it is, then we should immediately remind ourselves that it won’t last. We can say to ourselves, “This feeling has never lasted before, and it won’t last now”. Obviously, the same can be said for unhappy experiences. This is how we infuse our life with the correct view. Our exit from the emotional roller coaster is imminent.
So, to return to the question, Buddhism helps stabilize our lives by offering us a means to sever the root of instability. Obviously, this is a worthy achievement. However, it does not define the ultimate goal of Buddhism. If we consider human existence, we will realize that mere security cannot protect us from sickness, old age and death. It was this realization that caused the young Prince Siddhartha to flee the pleasantries of his palace and begin the path of self discovery. We should bear this in mind. In this way, we will not work with the Eight Worldly Dharmas merely to gain temporal mental peace, but instead aim to achieve full enlightenment. This is the true legacy bequeathed us by Prince Siddhartha.
Source: Kuenselonline